Unlike all the other pictures, the one of the essay exists unmarked by time or place. It isn’t located anywhere, exactly, but on the page and in my head; I don’t remember the second that I took it, but every time I turn to that picture to reread, I reenact it anyway. I carry it with me as a talisman not of protection, but of uncertainty. Stripped not only of its page numbers but also of the name of the friend who wrote it and its title, it articulates both a question and a terrifying possible answer to that question—an answer that points to my own choices as someone whose two obsessions are the past and guilt over obsessing over the past.
Saturday 15 June 2013
Saturday 1 June 2013
WRITE A PERSONAL ESSAY IN WHICH YOU DESCRIBE A PLACE THAT YOU CONSIDER BEAUTIFUL IN IRELAND
Themes: religion, family
Please note that we are apolitical. We just like good essays. This came up on the 2008 paper. This essay is on the short side of the acceptable range, but is still an outstanding H1.
It has been two years since the passing of my granddad, a significant ending in my life, but I remain bruised inside, filled with numbness and emptiness. My soul is still unwilling to acknowledge the finality of his sudden death. I will never get to look upon his face again or feel his embrace, see the warmth in his caring, loving eyes, or be surrounded by his love. Since the day he died a light has been extinguished in my heart. In his uniqueness he carved a role right into my DNA and no matter how hard I could try to remove it, it remains unchanged; not bigger, not louder and never quieter. Images of him lying motionless on his deathbed race through my mind regularly. Melancholy, remorse and respect are evoked in me. I try to cry the sadness off but crying is no good. I try to sleep the memories off but sleeping is no good. I try to clear my head by running but running is no good. The only place I feel secure and connected with my grandfather is the most beautiful place in my life - the Catholic Church.
Where would you find a more beautiful scene than the scene of a stunning bride walking up the aisle on the “red carpet “on her wedding day in the Catholic Church? Emotions of pure bliss, delight and joy fill the church, exploding it, almost shattering the stained glass windows. Cries of laughter, enjoyment and glee are shared among different types of families and friends on this special day.
This joy is relived on the day of baptisms marking the beginning of new eras. First Holy Communions, Confirmations bring more delight that is all shared under the one roof of the Catholic Church. The contentment of smiling children sweetly singing their favourite psalms at the altar glare down at their parents in hope of making them proud.
One must recognise the beauty of the word “Catholic.” It means universal. The Catholic Church is more than any one parish church. It is more than a diocese. It is more than just a collective worldwide institution. That is what makes it so special, wonderful and even more beautiful. As a universal church, it is an enticing thing to know that any practicing Catholic can walk into any Roman Catholic Church in the world and know what to expect. Vietnamese, French, German – it doesn’t matter. You still would know what is going on and what part of the mass the priest was at.
Of course everything has its flaws and God, the head of the most beautiful place in my life has his. I can never fathom why he gave me my grandfather, someone so good only to snatch him away again. I know he is safe with God, loved and warm, but I can’t reach him there. But imperfection is beauty. I believe God knows best – he may have given him to me and then took him from me as he felt I was strong enough to live with it. The Catholic Church wouldn’t be so beautiful if he didn’t deserve it to be. Beauty is happiness and without the Catholic Church I wouldn’t be happy. Since the day my grandfather died my heart is in fragments, but this beautiful, powerful, almost magical place has begun to piece them back together. Never lose an opportunity of going to a Catholic Church for the beauty of the Catholic Church is God’s handwriting.
This joy is relived on the day of baptisms marking the beginning of new eras. First Holy Communions, Confirmations bring more delight that is all shared under the one roof of the Catholic Church. The contentment of smiling children sweetly singing their favourite psalms at the altar glare down at their parents in hope of making them proud.
One must recognise the beauty of the word “Catholic.” It means universal. The Catholic Church is more than any one parish church. It is more than a diocese. It is more than just a collective worldwide institution. That is what makes it so special, wonderful and even more beautiful. As a universal church, it is an enticing thing to know that any practicing Catholic can walk into any Roman Catholic Church in the world and know what to expect. Vietnamese, French, German – it doesn’t matter. You still would know what is going on and what part of the mass the priest was at.
Of course everything has its flaws and God, the head of the most beautiful place in my life has his. I can never fathom why he gave me my grandfather, someone so good only to snatch him away again. I know he is safe with God, loved and warm, but I can’t reach him there. But imperfection is beauty. I believe God knows best – he may have given him to me and then took him from me as he felt I was strong enough to live with it. The Catholic Church wouldn’t be so beautiful if he didn’t deserve it to be. Beauty is happiness and without the Catholic Church I wouldn’t be happy. Since the day my grandfather died my heart is in fragments, but this beautiful, powerful, almost magical place has begun to piece them back together. Never lose an opportunity of going to a Catholic Church for the beauty of the Catholic Church is God’s handwriting.
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